Kylie Minogue and the Straight Spouse
So this closeted straight spouse went to the Kylie Minogue concert with my gay husband. It was a homosexual mecca. I knew what to expect, to some degree, having been to another of her concerts with the same husband. This time I was better prepared. Thankfully, I wasn’t treated to anything too outrageous, save for the few drag queens. No big deal.
As you can imagine, I felt completely out of place, although there were a number of straight couples there. And there was finally no line for the ladies room. A rare treat, to be sure.
It was a bit hard for me to fully enjoy the concert. I spent a lot of the time wondering who might be catching his eye. Is he getting turned on by the barely-dressed dancers on the stage? The guys next to us? I didn’t dare look for any physical evidence. For the most part, I just went with the flow until the concert ended, and grieved a little more for the sad state of my life.
All in all, it was actually a fairly pleasant evening, but one that reminded me yet again that this was the world he wished to live in. I am still not sure why he invited me to go, although I’m pretty sure why I accepted. If I hadn’t, I would have spent the whole night at home wondering what he was doing in between sets. At some points, I felt a bit like I was babysitting him.
Just another day married to a gay guy.
Kelly said,
October 15, 2009 at 8:56 pm
sigh.
tears are in my eyes. i just want you to know that you don’t have to stay. i thought i had to stay for my daughter when in fact, it just made it worse. i gained 80 pounds. i started injuring myself and had a full-blown nervous breakdown. you should really be in therapy and be angry. you’re supporting him, but who is supporting you? because to be frank, he cannot. he is the person who took something from you by lying and devaluing you and your precious feminine beauty. my therapist tells me “YOU are the prize, girl.” and i believe her. but i am a shell of the woman i was when we married. it has been six years since our divorce and it still hurts. i am engaged and have a great kiddo and a new home, but i still feel ugly and nonsexual sometimes. it just hurts to much to feel sexual because of the many years someone just shut me out.
i hope you let the tears come eventually, as i have. i hope you also learn you are in no way obligated to him to keep his secrets for fear of ruining him, while you silently live in a sexless world of hell. he will never know the things you think about, the fears you have. and you know… it’s important to find people who DO understand. for what it’s worth, you are beautiful and sexy and it’s his crap, not yours.